Wednesday, April 29, 2009

New Chuck Palahniuk Book! and Bacon Flu

New Chuck Palahniuk book (the genius who gave us Fightclub).
Pygmy, coming 5 May 09

Last night, I was at a poetry/short story reading at a very seedy looking warehouse-turned-bar place, and one of the readers had a bit of a cold, thus, her voice was thick with not a handful of throat-clearing here and there.

"IT'S HERE! BACON FLU!"

Poor girl.

Oh, and I almost killed my friend, again. I blame Bertha, my GPS navigator. She really takes her time when tracking satellites, and refused to adhere to the windshield. I called it quits with Bertha last night, and added "GPS Navigator" to my list of things to buy before heading for England. I'm going to need a very handy one anyway.

Oh wait, an iPhone can do that. Ha!

According to a NY Times article, which I do not have the energy to find right now, the first confirmed bacon flu death in the USA is here. Sadly, it is becoming more and more evident that a zombie outbreak is far from the horizon. My apocalypse readiness kit shall have to wait another day. Did you know, a few weeks ago my mother bought a box of green tea, nothing special, except it's a box that could last a nuclear fallout. She also happens to love spam, and our pantry and cupboards have stacked to the ceiling with it, sardines, garbanzos, chicken noodle soup, campbell cream of mushroom/asparagus, boyardee spaghetti, cans and cans of diet coke (actually we ran out of diet coke 2 days ago so I ahve to pick some up on my way back from my upcoming French exam), Arizona sweet tea, and A&W rootbeer.

Now, all we need is a fallout shelter

minus the deluded happy family.

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