I smile like an idiot

I smile like an idiot while telling myself to stop thinking about her.

Like it's an inside joke I have with myself.

If there were a 3rd me, she would be in schadenfreude heaven.

UV rays don't sound so bad right now

Considering how I haven't seen a full round sun in the past 2 days, and dusk set in before 17.00.

I summon thee, oh dear Spring, that I may walk about the 4 nations.

I summon thee, oh darling Summer, that I may trek around the main continent, and perhaps tap some ass in the process.

I lied and didn't lie about being confused

Finally I confessed, to you, my dear Scandinavian, about what I have pretended not to be upon arrival in this country, about what I have intended to do but did not upon arrival in this country.

That, I say, is perfectly clear. I lied about that.

But I also say that I wish I had studied their culture more. Invitations? Sleepovers? Drunken sleepovers? Question question question...why why why...arm in arm, shoulder to shoulder, christmas.

I say it was alcohol. The confusion is no longer a problem.

Manchester Uni used to be the poorest slum in the world during the Industrial Revolution

It still is.

Couscous, rice, bread, butter, vegetables, and beans for the rest of my life.

Either I'm overanalysing or you're having fun with this

So maybe you've got me all figured out, but playing games is out of my comfort zone, especially when it's a game I'm bound to lose

Consequences of learning sex from pornography

1. We left 2 hours after convening

It was an indie club, on a Wednesday night, where they play popular indie music, all supposedly unsigned, with a great distaste for Lilly Allen's support of record companies. Their Myspace pages are all over Facebook.

But I think Myspace is a record label for the poor, where art struggles to outshine ten million stars continuously pulsing with extreme-angle high-contrast mirror-shots with lens flare for good measure.

Dancing to unknown tunes is harder than it looks, realising that I know nothing about this country while dancing to its music is even harder, and the three vodka lemonades aren't doing the job, the one in my hand now is only making the floor slick, already slick from years of drunk students wasting their precious beverages to decreased motor function.

2. I'm glad I didnt forget your name

There were eight of us, in one big circle, shaking and jerking to drumbeats and synth riffs, pulsing like an uncoordinated volvox coenibum in the canal of a high-mount slide. Maybe I was actually drunk, but my psychological tolerance has gotten so high from a week of 200 proof alcohol diet, but I felt like we should've been in Chris Brown's Forever video.
This could be an entry to fmylife. Today, I had my first kiss in an indie club, with a guy I met that same night. I just lost my virginity to him. FML

I hope they wiped the kitchen table before eating that pizza.

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FICTION ALERT

Note to self when taking an Australian home

Just have a spare condom lying around in your room.